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[New Feature] Ask cmc!


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Reply to topic    Magic-League.com Forum Index -> Other - Non-Magic
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six
Level 3 Judge


Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Posts: 97

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:40 am    Post subject: [New Feature] Ask cmc! Reply with quote

cmc has been dispensing powerful advice to the most powerful people in the past decade and it is time we brought his inspiring work to this public forum! In this brand-new column, you can post questions to cmc and he will give you better auguries than some random cephalopod.

Remember, threats and hateful questions are not allowed. This is for serious people only.
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ik
Level 1 Judge


Joined: 11 Sep 2007
Posts: 335

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear cmc,
I have three daughters who seem to be incapable of functioning as adults. None of them is employed or in school. My oldest is a single parent of two kids she doesn't want.
I love my grandkids and I know I should take them, but I raised my daughters and feel I'm too old to be Dad to toddlers again. Am I being selfish? -- DAD OF THREE DAUGHTERS IN NEBRASKA
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brimstone



Joined: 20 Nov 2004
Posts: 78

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear cmc,
I recently traveled around the world (NY to NZ) for a girl I met on the wonderful solidirc server (yay #weedmonkey4you). During my trip I was crushed and rejected, and my lack of a subsequent social life allowed me to qualify for the upcoming pro tour. What should my next step in life be?
-a certain NY modo ringer


Last edited by brimstone on Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:55 am; edited 2 times in total
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cmc
Level 3 Judge


Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear DAD OF THREE DAUGHTERS IN NEBRASKA,
Thanks for posting! The problem here is not that you're too old to raise toddlers, it's that you don't have enough arms to keep up with both of them. I recommend acquiring an octopus to keep track of them. With 8 arms it can handle both infants while making dinner AND setting the table all at once!



Once the children are old enough to take care of themselves, you can all enjoy some nice octopus juk. You'll have to cook it yourself though!



Best regards,
cmc


Last edited by cmc on Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:59 am; edited 2 times in total
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Splunge



Joined: 01 Apr 2005
Posts: 50

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear cmc,

Iím a 15-year-old boy who is trying to figure out my career. Iím with ďJen,Ē the girl of my dreams, and I intend on being with her forever. We plan to have kids in the future. I want to be a pilot, and Jen wants to be a stay-at-home mom. I realize, though, that if Iím a pilot I wonít be home much, and I know thatís not good for a couple trying to start a family. All I ever dreamed about was becoming a pilot, and I donít think I can give this up.

At the same time, my family comes first. How do I go about solving this problem?

ó PLANNING AHEAD IN CANADA
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cmc
Level 3 Judge


Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 1:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

brimstone wrote:
Dear cmc,
I recently traveled around the world (NY to NZ) for a girl I met on the wonderful solidirc server (yay #weedmonkey4you). During my trip I was crushed and rejected, and my lack of a subsequent social life allowed me to qualify for the upcoming pro tour. What should my next step in life be?
-a certain NY modo ringer


Dear Mr. Modo Ringer,

I'm sorry to hear about your failed attempt at love. Sad However, this seems to be the norm for denizens of #weedmonkey4you. But don't give up! As a well-known modo ringer, I have little doubt that you will easily be able to charm any girl of your choosing. But how, you might ask, are you going to have the chance to go out into the world while keeping up that all important modo rep? Simple. By purchasing an octopus. Octopi are highly intelligent, and with 8 arms it will be able to play up to 4 modo accounts at once! If _Batutinha_ can top 8 a modo ptq, an octopus should have little trouble winning one.



Good luck with your life,
cmc
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cmc
Level 3 Judge


Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 3:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Splunge wrote:
Dear cmc,

Iím a 15-year-old boy who is trying to figure out my career. Iím with ďJen,Ē the girl of my dreams, and I intend on being with her forever. We plan to have kids in the future. I want to be a pilot, and Jen wants to be a stay-at-home mom. I realize, though, that if Iím a pilot I wonít be home much, and I know thatís not good for a couple trying to start a family. All I ever dreamed about was becoming a pilot, and I donít think I can give this up.

At the same time, my family comes first. How do I go about solving this problem?

ó PLANNING AHEAD IN CANADA


Dear PLANNING AHEAD IN CANADA,

I'm afraid I have some bad news. I will try to lighten the mood by conveying it via metaphor. Your dream of becoming a pilot is a Whispersilk Cloak. Should this dream come true, you will be untouchable, and nothing will be able to stop you in life. However, children are Tin-Street Hooligans (literally!), and green mana was most definitely spent. While your dreams have no chance, you can take solace in the fact that you are not an octopus. Male octopi tend to die within a few months of mating.

I wish you luck with your dead end life,
cmc
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Ludz
Level 1 Judge


Joined: 29 Feb 2008
Posts: 89

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 4:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's up?
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xainas



Joined: 15 Aug 2010
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 8:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear CMC

If I had one coconut, and the other person on the island tried to steal it. Would it be okay to kill him and sacrifice him to the coconut gods?
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Chefy
Level 1 Judge


Joined: 29 Sep 2009
Posts: 45

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 8:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear CMC,
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

Please help!
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InWaking



Joined: 30 Jun 2009
Posts: 137

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 9:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear CMC

Long time reader first time writer, you see I have a girlfriend who says I only think and care about magic. I don't want to quit playing and I do not want to lose her.
I tried to get her an octopus to fill the void of our relationship that I suppose I may have been filling on my end with magic but it only lasted a few months before Lorthos had passed away. I would get her another but the first cost so much mana and I started to feel like the third wheel in the relationship as she always wanted to spend time alone with him, which felt odd to me as whenever I would walk into the room with Lorthos he'd give me this feeling of being unwelcomed plus my girls labido had seemed to vanish in those months I suppose his passing was for the best.

I attempted to get her into magic, but she thought we would role play and something about my girlfriend being Chandra Nalaar and trying to burn my balls was just not tickling my fancy.

How can I show my girlfriend that I love her equally as magic and I would like to take our relationship to the next plane?
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AppleofEris



Joined: 20 Dec 2006
Posts: 553

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 9:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear cmc,

How can I be cool like you?

Sincerely,
Lame Netter
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cogdill



Joined: 24 Jan 2010
Posts: 40

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 10:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^ lmao hahah muppet... ya i want to know too lol
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magicrichi



Joined: 09 Jul 2009
Posts: 47

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 3:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear cmc
i love you but you donīt love me Sad
what can i do?
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Pins4Sins



Joined: 28 Feb 2010
Posts: 117

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 3:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear cmc,

How in the hell are you gonna answer all these questions?



Pins
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