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Create a terrible card! round 1.


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testbuddy



Joined: 10 Aug 2010
Posts: 42

PostPosted: Sat Jul 02, 2011 6:29 pm    Post subject: Re: Create a terrible card! round 1. Reply with quote

ManfredByron wrote:
This is a bit of a variation on the create a card theme, for all those people who have never won a create a card competition like me. The idea is fairly simple, I specify what I want from the card then you have to make a card that is the total opposite of what I asked for. The person with the lowest score at the end of the competition wins.

So I want you to create, a balanced common 2cc creature that would be of use for green based aggressive decks that would be a high pick in limited, that is flavorful and fun to play with.

GL!


So the worst opposite to what you ask for wins? Is this a double negative?
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spudfuss2



Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Posts: 51

PostPosted: Sat Jul 02, 2011 8:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ughmut the wary 3gg
Rare
Legendary Creature

Whenever a creature with power 1 or less is declared as an attacker or blocker remove Ughmut the wary from the game until the next beginning of the end step.
1/5
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GreenBear



Joined: 27 Jul 2010
Posts: 901

PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 1:44 am    Post subject: Re: Create a terrible card! round 1. Reply with quote

testbuddy wrote:
ManfredByron wrote:
This is a bit of a variation on the create a card theme, for all those people who have never won a create a card competition like me. The idea is fairly simple, I specify what I want from the card then you have to make a card that is the total opposite of what I asked for. The person with the lowest score at the end of the competition wins.

So I want you to create, a balanced common 2cc creature that would be of use for green based aggressive decks that would be a high pick in limited, that is flavorful and fun to play with.

GL!


So the worst opposite to what you ask for wins? Is this a double negative?


Nope i'm not that clever.
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GreenBear



Joined: 27 Jul 2010
Posts: 901

PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right this is early but no one seems to be posting now so here you have it.


So I want you to create, a balanced common 2cc creature that would be of use for green based aggressive decks that would be a high pick in limited, that is flavourful and fun to play with.

Except your aim is to create the exact opposite of what i say.

Marking System balanced unbalanced 3pts

Common? (3pts)

Useful to green based aggro 3pts

High pick in limited 3pts

Flavourful 3pts

Fun to play with 3pts

Amusement Value 15 pts (The lower the more amusing for this)

No one will get full marks (0), to get full marks you should have submitted a yu-gi-oh card sorry, got to think outside the box.



1. CMA-Fillipi
Angry Bear - GG
Creature - Bear
Trample
3/2

A good balanced card (3pts)

no rarity specified (0pts)

useful to green based aggro is a creature (3pt)

medium pick in limited as the mana cost is restrictive (2pts)

No flavour txt and being a bear definalty loses you points as everyone knows all bears are gay (0pts).

This card is about as fun to play with as it is to perform an audit (0pts)

Amusement Value (15pts) this card is very vanilla in all aspects. Giving you a total score of 23/30 thatís a really respectable score well done now why donít u go relax let your hair down and rebel, I dunno listen to some Justin Bieber music or something.

2. jdacheifs0
RGWUB
Rainbow Unicorn-Mythic Rare
Creature- Unicorn
Instead of paying Rainbow unicorn's mana cost, kiss each opponent.

Flash

When rainbow unicorn comes into play, draw 3 cards then, Destroy all creatures other than Unicorns and Phelddagrifs, they cant be regenerated, search for 3 lands and put them into play and target opponent's life total becomes 10.
5/4
This is pretty gay...~Your opponent, turn one.


What the heck I ask you for a balanced card and you give me this what the fuck were you on when you thought of this card (0pts)

Mythic rare about as common as kate middleton (0pts)

Useful to green aggro (2pts) yeah this is good for green aggro devastating turn 1 though to be honest I would just concede if I new this card was in my opponents deck.

High pick in limited these pros would kill their own mother to win a pro tour, kissing a guy is no problem (3pts)

A unicorn may get girls to play magic and girls like kissing lots of guys (well slags do) seriously we need to get the losers who play this game laid somehow, if guys had just been honest about what the flash mechanic on those faeries did so many more girls would be playing magic now (1pt).

Our latest focus group revealed that not many of our customers are gay, also many of them were unsure on how you kiss someone so this may cause confusion but it should be fun watching the losers find out for us that is for them it will be hell, well my first kiss was when I was 20 at pt newyork when I cast Rainbow Unicorn vs Matt Nass (0pts).

Amusement value, this would have got 0 if it was a legend, it would have been the funniest multiplayer commando ever talk about saliva sharing feast still good (4pts)

10/30 thatís absolutely terrible chump, Iíd tell you to get your stuff from your desk but Maro just threw it out the window.

3. MTGmanLA

TryAgain
UU3
Instant

Counter Target Spell. That Spell is exiled from the game. The next spell played by the owner of the countered spell can be played without paying it's mana cost.

'Lets see what else you got'

Balanced this card is over costed and crap,(0pts)

No rarity (0pts)

We said green you gave us blue, are you colour blind or something but wait wait its not even of friggin use to an aggro deck, what recruitment agency sent us you again? (0pts)

I guess the flavour text on this card is good (2pts)

Yep try again 5cc counters are not a high pick in limited (0pts)

Random elements are fun according to our focus groups (3pts)

Amusement Value- This card is just crap its kinda funny because itís so crap, like watching a skinny kid try to throw a javelin but not that funny, (8pts)

13/30 they say 13 is an unlucky number it sure is for you, your fired!

4. Vacancyman

Super Helix
4WURB
Sorcery
Destroy target permanent.
Exile target permanent.
Return target permanent to its owner's hand.
Gain control of target permanent.

Yeah for 8 mana and this many colours a card like this seems okay to me, could lead to blow outs but itís situational and costs 8 mana itís no worse than cruel ultimatum (3pts)

No rarity specified 0pts

Youíve made the card every colour but the one we told you 2, is this a joke? Useful to green aggro, this card is costs more to play than some peoples grocery bills! And its not a sodding creature (0pts)

High pick in limited, if you can cast it sure but 8 mana is a lot though in the right environment this is a humdinger. (1pt)

Flavourful, no falvour text but atleast itís a helix magic player like them (1pts)

Fun I imagine casting this is a lot of fun (3pt)

Amusement Value- The sheer absurdity of this card makes it pretty amusing (6pts)

14/30 All I can say vacancy man is the job you once filled is now vacant, this is nowhere near up to scratch.

5. Hood

Cruel Relic - (no mana cost)
Artifact [Mythic]

As you search your library for Cruel Relic, you may reveal it.
If you do, target opponent loses the game.

So youíve turned trinket mage into a one card combo thatís not balanced moron (0pts)

Mythic (0pts)

This is not green and its only of use to combo decks and is not a creature (0pts)

High pick in limited, it could be busted in the right deck, could figure to be like glimpse or something (2pts)

Flavourful Ė no flavour (0pts)

Fun- you search for it you win not fun at all about as interactive as solitare.

Amusement Value This card is not funny but it is a really good job of all the stuff I told you about (8pts)

10/30 would it be cruel of me to ask if you are slightly retarded?


6. Jazaam

Arcane Bearial uu counter target planeswalker or artifact spell its controller puts a 4/1 bear with protection from blue in play draw a card

I really like the presentation of this card and the clear effort put in and how you have spelt burial wrong deliberately.

Balanced this card is situational but powerful far from balanced though (1pt)

No rarity specified 0pts

This is not green and is of no use for an aggro deck it at least creates a creature but im still not giving you a point (0pts)

This card has very little application in limited and is a sideboard card at best defiantly not a first pick or anywhere near you buffon (0pts)

Flavourful why the fuck would an arcane burial create a bear, which doesnít appear to have a colour or anything, and why the hell does the bear have protection from blue, since when did bears have protection from anything 0 pts

Fun Bears are always pretty damn fun but counter not so much (1pt)

Amusement Value The sheer sloppiness of this card, bad spelling, poor presentation, failure to specify the colour of the bear make it amusing, congratulations you really excelled yourself donkey and the randomness of the bear make this card quite amusing. (7pts)

9/30 Congratulations youíre the first person to fail to not make it into double figures chump, just a singular digit, kinda like your mummy and daddys combined IQ score, heres a hat with a big D on it cause if you aint got double of these Ds your pretty screwed in life.

7. Kewpee


Phelddagrif Palace

Land Mythic

If this card Isn't in your opening hand search your library for all copies of the card and put them into play, to counter this effect forfeit the game.

If you are to search your library your opponent searches it instead and puts all copies of this card into play under your control and removes all copies of any planeswalker he or she chooses.

Tap: Add 3 of any one color to your opponents mana pool, use this only during your opponents turn. Your opponent gains 5 life and draws three cards. Your opponent takes an extra turn after this one. If your opponent is incapable of drawing exactly three cards you lose the game.

why? why are you being so so kind?[/b]

Balanced Ė Playing this card is the same as cutting your own cock off, totally unbalanced in favour of your opponent.

Not a creature, not green, but if your opponent did play this card, God knows for the love of God why, maybe the dudes trying to sleep with you or something and you played green based aggro it would certainly help you! (1pt)

This card makes one with nothing look like, jitte well done chump (0pt)

Well at least the card has flavour text and it makes sense (3pts)

Fun some people like being laughed at which it what playing this card will cause (1pt)

Amusement Value the thing I really like about this card is how it has loads of unnecessary text that just makes the card more confusing, like the forfeit the game thing, when it lets your opponent search your library anyway, itís a little overly obviously terrible though (6pts)

11/30

8. O1R513N

Jace, the cursed 3UU

+1: each opponent draws a card

-1: return target creature you control to its owners hand

-13: target player draws 30 cards

Loyality:6

What happened to me ?

What happened to me indeed this card sullies jaces good name with its crapness and is totally unbalanced in sheer rubishness (0pts)

Not green, not a creature, not the right cmc, of no use to an aggro deck (0pts)

If I cast this card in limited I would find myself trying to attack the dickwit with my own goddamn creatures. (0pts)

The flavour text on this card is at least very apt (3pts)

Fun, in multiplayer casual games I can see this having some application and being kind of fun, people will love you for casting this. (1pt)

Amusement Value Turning everyoneís favourite planeswalker into a walking pile of dog dung will amuse some whilst being paramount to treason to others (7pts)

11/30

9. Sprouts

Old dick

Very common

cost - 0

Ancient Artifact

If Old dick sees a hot woman, it still doesnt do shit.

Itís a little underpowered for its casting cost but shape a new decks would be turning this into all sorts of interesting things ewww horrible imagery (2pts)


Itís not green, itís not common, I love the idea of very common like maybe you open a pack to discover it has 3 very old dicks in, youíd be so pleased it doesnít help aggro either (0pts)

Yep this card is clearly busted in limited, rivals jitte and it very common as well, what were you thinking! (0pts)

Flavour, a lot of wizards market is children and this type of crudeness is just not tolerated you dirty old man, no one wants to see a photo of your dick on a magic card (0pts)

Fun even if itís old its still a dick so fun can most definitely be had with it (2pts)

Amusement Value I love the very common idea, just cracking a pack and seeing 3-5 old dicks in it would be hilarious (6pts)

10/30 This is a terrible score you should be ashamed of yourself, making fun of old people and being crude this is just not what wizards is about.

10. Jaycemoves

Jester's Flask - 3

Artifact - Rare

Whenever you are the target of a spell, that spell's controller exiles the top X cards of his or her library, where X is that spell's converted mana cost.

Sacrifice Jester's Flask: Search target player's library. You may exile any card that shares a name with a card exiled with Jester's Mask.

I like how this card changes name from flask to mask at end of the text sign of real painstaking care taken in the creation of the card.

Itís pretty crap but some people like cards like this and it at least has a use (2pts).

Not green, not a creature, no use to aggro, not 2cmc (0pts)

Yeah this card is really useless in limited total opposite of what we were looking for you ass. (0pts)

Works in tandem with other similar jester like card (1pt)

Fun, once again there is this weird bread of magic player who loves assembling decks with cards like this and losing every game they play, even if all the other play did was attack with a man land. (1pt)

Amusement Value I hate cards like this mainly as I hating playing people who play decks with these sort of fucking cards in itís a real waste of 20mins to an hour beating there crappy deck, however you get a reprieve for the card naming error (8pts)

12/30

11. Spuddfuss2

Ughmut the wary 3gg
Rare
Legendary Creature

Whenever a creature with power 1 or less is declared as an attacker or blocker remove Ughmut the wary from the game until the next beginning of the end step.
1/5


Balanced this is firmly on the brown runny stuff side of balanced (0pts)

Its green and itís a creature even if it has no type itís just a creature what sort we do not know, but it is of as much use to aggro as well see sprouts card (2pts)


This is pretty damn bad in limited your deck would have to be a trainwreck to play it (1pt)

Flavour, well hes a legendary, a legendary what we donít know so that a big 0pts for flavour

Fun This guy is about as much fun as a 3 hour lecture on social psychology (0pts)

Amusement Value (Not all that amusing sorry just plain out right Crap with a capital C 10 pts

13/30 This card will not be seeing print anytime soon numnut.


12. Yajiko
Posted: 03 Jul 2011 04:45 Post subject:
________________________________________
granny ninja tortoise 2BU
creature - tortoise

haste
<cardname> cannot be played or enter the battlefield on your first 8 turns.

if <cardname> would deal combat damage to a player, it doesn't untap on the next untap step.

"oh you stupid smut fuck! nobody calls me for battle anymore!!

2/4

Balance, firmly on the rebbeca black side of balanced (0pts)

Well itís a creature at least but is not green and itís no use to aggro pretty poor showing (1pt)

Yeah cause multi-coloured 2/4 s are really useful in limted after turn 8 almost unplayable (1pt)

Flavour lol this is pretty good flavour 3 pts

Fun waiting 8 turns to cast a crap creature is not fun (0pts)

Amusement Value The granny ninja tortoise is pretty funny, here flavour txt actually helps lower your score here (6pts)

11/30 Oh you stupid smut fuck this isnít fallen empires nobody makes card this bad anymore.

So Jazaam wins with arcane berial with a staggering 9/30 props to him for making a card so bad and the total opposite of what I asked for that amused me immensely.


jdacheifs0, Hood, Sprouts all tie for second good attempts guys loved them all but there can only be one winner. Thanks for keeping me entertained to all of you on a Sunday I have nothing to do better with.


Jazaam you can now revel in your ineptitude at making cards and feel free to make another round if you feel so obligied.


(complaints about my marking go to judgedirector@magic-league.com)
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Acid_Christ



Joined: 28 Aug 2004
Posts: 799

PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 8:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I actually found this quite amusing.
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AppleofEris



Joined: 20 Dec 2006
Posts: 553

PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 3:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Flippi was the only one who should have won, since this contest WAS a double negative (you weren't supposed to do what he said to do, including the part where he said to do what you're supposed to not do).
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Mizukage



Joined: 24 Jul 2009
Posts: 106

PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 8:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wtf? who deleted my post?
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kendiggy



Joined: 30 Nov 2004
Posts: 441
Location: not here

PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

jdacheifs0 wrote:
RGWUB
Rainbow Unicorn's Sparkling Dust-Mythic Rare
Instant
Instead of paying Rainbow unicorn's Sparkling Dust'smana cost, kiss each opponent.


Draw 3 cards then, Destroy all creatures other than Unicorns and Phelddagrifs, they cant be regenerated, search for 3 lands and put them into play and target opponent's life total becomes 10.
This is pretty gay...~Your opponent, turn one.
--
Rules Text: A kiss is defined as your lips touching your opponents lips for atleast 2 seconds. Tongue is a mandatory.

You may not use Rainbow Unicorns alternate cost if you are playing against a female and you are not gay.
--
Better. reading is tech. I would argue since most magic players aren't gay (or are they?) and no women play magic (cause that would be gay itself) and PT's are sausage fests, no one will have the twig n' berries to pick this card in limited.


So, explain to me how you intend to have players pay the alternate cost over mws or mtgo... ;P
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jdacheifs0



Joined: 27 Apr 2010
Posts: 15

PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 10:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kendiggy wrote:

So, explain to me how you intend to have players pay the alternate cost over mws or mtgo... ;P

D**k pics would be good enough....That will be errata'd in.
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