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40 Midgets vs. a Lion


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Reply to topic    Magic-League.com Forum Index -> Other - Non-Magic

Who would win?
40 midgets
54%
 54%  [ 27 ]
Lion
46%
 46%  [ 23 ]
Total Votes : 50

Author Message
RThomas
Level 1 Judge


Joined: 31 Aug 2004
Posts: 389

PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:11 am    Post subject: 40 Midgets vs. a Lion Reply with quote

Well, I'm certain some of you have run into this article, but in the wake of all the "X VS Y" threads I thought it would be fun to ask this question.

http://www.newturfers.com/mwf/attach/38/355838/BBCNEWSWorldLionMutilates42MidgetsinCambodianRing-Fight.htm

http://lionvs40midgets.uk-directory.com/

Well, a couple of months ago my friend told me of a story he read on the BBC about a Midget Fighting League from Cambodia taking on a lion and losing. It drove me nuts (literally).

I searched for the article, and found it, but to my dismay(and relief, I guess) it was fake.

Well, now I've run into it again. After discussing with some other people, there seems to be a split. Some people favor the midgets, some people the lion. So I ask you.

In a fight between 40 midgets and a lion, who would win?

Here are the parameters of the fight:


Quote:
* Fight takes place between 1 full-grown, male African lion and 40 midgets
* The midgets are unarmed (no guns, baseball bats, tasers, etc.)
* The fight takes place in a closed arena (a racquetball court for example)
* Fight is over when either a) the lion is dead, or b) all 40 midgets are dead or unable to fight back (severely wounded)
* Lion is highly agitated, midgets know there's no way out until the lion is dead (they have to fight)
* The midgets are not specially trained to fight (not like the Cambodian fighting ones in the article) but are in average physical and mental health
* The midgets are given 5 minutes before the fight to prepare/strategize


Who would win?
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Bejeezus



Joined: 12 Dec 2004
Posts: 1796
Location: Right Here

PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I voted lion. Because angry lion = sexy.

Those midget are just hobbling food. All that they can hope for is for the lion to choke on one of them.
- Bejeezus
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Laplie



Joined: 31 Aug 2004
Posts: 561

PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 12:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

40 midgets would obv win. They might have some loses, but it's too easy to surround the lion with 40. I bet even 15 midgets could do it.
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ColdBeer



Joined: 05 Jan 2006
Posts: 89

PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

bottom line the midgets have no way to finish the lion off

i suppose if he was really tired and there were enough midgets left to hold him down and stomp on his neck, maybe. but that's it

i vote lion
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RichardDWade



Joined: 20 Mar 2006
Posts: 438

PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd bet my left teste that 8 midgets could do it. And one of them could even be in a wheelchair. What you do is stuff one midget full of sleeping pills and send him in alone. As the lion is eating him and getting drowsy, send in the rest. Duh. Didn't all of you take midget vs. x in highschool? Rule #1: Midgets make for great sacrifice. Thank you.
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gumonshoe



Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 433

PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 10:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

if they were your average jamacain migets...
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Big



Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 16

PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 10:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Midgets clearly win sure a few of them might die but all they would have to do is charge the lion all at once and then beat it to death with their fists. thats four thousand pounds of human coming at you.
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Senadai



Joined: 04 Feb 2006
Posts: 73

PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Synch wrote:
if it was a fight without fear the midgets would win, but if they were normal midgets they'd run around scared and be easy prey

muahahaha!!


Seriously. As per the premise of the article, they only get 5 minutes to strategize. They'd be thoroughly confused and scared. I don't think they could organize well enough to kill the lion.

~Senadai
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RThomas
Level 1 Judge


Joined: 31 Aug 2004
Posts: 389

PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 1:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Consider some perhaps overlooked features of the lion:

Quote:
1) The male lion, easily recognized by his mane, may weigh up to 250 kg (550 lb). Moral: Lions are effing big.

2) Lions are one of the most sexually active cats. During a female's estrus cycle, a male and female will mate unabated for 5-7 days every 10 to 20 minutes. Moral: Lions are STUDS.

3) Like all other cats they are superpredators, but unlike all other cats they are social hunters and take prey too large and dangerous to overpower singly. Moral: He already knows your midget tricks!

4) Male lions exist largely to defend the pride; excellent fighters (the mane on lions is an evolutionary adaptation to fighting; the mane absorbs bites and scratches that might otherwise be lethal). Moral: This badass does this for a living, against OTHER LIONS.

5) They can sleep as many as 20 hours in a day. Moral: A well-rested fighter is a focused fighter.

6) Baby or young lions... face a high mortality rate from starvation, attacks by other large predators, and especially by male lions killing the younger ones while taking over a pride. Moral: This cat is from the hood. He's already survived shit you can't imagine.


So, the midgets are going up against a ridiculously fast and strong badass street hoodie who outweighs any five of them, fights other lions for a living, is well-rested and oversexed, and is "highly agitated." Actually, scratch "oversexed", because we all know he's "highly agitated" cuz someone took away his lioness bitches and he's got serious blue balls. All he wants to do is get his freak on with Lola the Lioness every ten minutes for the next week, and you KNOW she wants it. All he's got in his way are these forty screaming things in front of him, scared shitless and crying.

To illustrate this further, visualize the room/arena/coliseum of the fight:

|---------------------------------------------|
|oooooooo____________________O
|oooooooo
|oooooooo
|oooooooo
|oooooooo
|
|---------------------------------------------|

where the o's represent a stack of 40 midgets and the O represents the pissed-off lion. Does this really look fair?

Let's assess the situation:

-The midgets get 5 minutes to prepare. Like any other group of normal people, they'll spend that time arguing who's going to be in charge and rejecting each other's ideas because their own are better.

-The midgets are unarmed. Make a fist, then take a knife and cut it in half. You have a midget fist. Hit something with half of your fist. Does it hurt that object? Forty little fists hitting something at random patterns isn't very intimidating.

-The room is enclosed. The midgets have nowhere to run. When the lion comes in, he kills a few midgets, some of the slow, weak ones, but mostly just the ones closest to him. One might get trampled in all this. Now, let's say the rest split off into three groups of like, 7 or 8. The lion is not scared at this point. He's thinking, "I'm gonna kill these mofos even if I ain't hungry." He's used to dealing with animals in groups; mainly, hyenas. So, imagine two of the three groups survive the second phase here. Do you think the remaining 15 stand a chance? Get real.

Quote:
They might have some loses, but it's too easy to surround the lion with 40. I bet even 15 midgets could do it.


Sure, you can surround the lion with all of the midgets, but do you honestly think they're all going to risk it all to flail away at the lion's neck with all of those effin' teeth? I think not.

Quote:
What you do is stuff one midget full of sleeping pills and send him in alone. As the lion is eating him and getting drowsy, send in the rest.


You've missed the rules of the fight. Read again:

Quote:
* The midgets are unarmed (no guns, baseball bats, tasers, etc.)


The lion is too highly agitated and pissed-off to stop to eat the first midget anyways. He's going to keep killing until they're all dead.

I'd agree that the midgets have a chance if they properly strategize, quickly get over the shock of seeing midgets Mark, Matthew, John, and Luke ripped limb from limb; but these are 40 midgets, not 40 marines.
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DRjester
Level 1 Judge


Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 11:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, I think that its pretty clear that the lion would simply destroy 40 unarmed, untrained midgets that only had 5 minutes to prepare. I mean, this whole setup implies that these are in all ways 40 normal, average midgets - after they see the first 2 or 3 get svagely mauled in front of their very eyes, i'd imagine that most of them would simply huddle up in the fetal position and cry, hoping that the lion would get full before he got to them.

Now, a more interesting question would be if we assumed these to be well-trained, fearless midgets with ample time to prepare and strategie. In other words, is it even feasible for 40 midgets of any type to kill a lion? Can anyone here propose a reasonable strategy that would work? Note: the sleeping pills idea, while interesting, violates the "no weapons" rule, in spirit if not technically.
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ColdBeer



Joined: 05 Jan 2006
Posts: 89

PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 5:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Think of it like this, me vs 40 4 year olds. I'm only 3-4 times their size. i'd be punting them so fast, they'd hve no chance. Could you take out a day care center if you went straight for it? I think the lions odds are at least 3 times as good.

if 40 midgits could form a migit voltron, then i see the midgits winning. otherwise i still say lion all the way
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Lackeos



Joined: 10 Oct 2004
Posts: 236

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think the midgets can probably surround it. I think like 8-10 midgets can grab the lion's wrinkly skin and try to bite through it. Early in the fight, the lion's eyes will get poked, maybe multiple times, and a midget will probably try to straddle its neck and plug its nose with two fingers. I expect that at any given time, one midget will be pummelling the lion's nuts. The lion might puke at some point. and yes, the lion would definitely get extremely tired before it got to number 40.

Can midgets finish off an exhausted lion with broken nuts and gouged eyes (and possibly even had his claws pulled out, but probably not)? I think they maybe can, if they like punch it in the ribs all day long, or scratch its throat with their midget nails or something, I dunno.

... it would be a great fight.
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Craze



Joined: 30 Jan 2005
Posts: 5676
Location: Indiana, U

PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2006 1:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Think of it like this, me vs 40 4 year olds. I'm only 3-4 times their size. i'd be punting them so fast, they'd hve no chance. Could you take out a day care center if you went straight for it? I think the lions odds are at least 3 times as good.


You underestimate the basic instinces of human nature. Yes, true the lion is gonna kick ass, but 2 midgets with spears could kill a fucking lion, 40 midgets without spears could too.

For one, just cause their midgets doesn't mean their not still smart, even one of those midgets are smarter the the lion whos brain resembles a hotdog.
Secondly, theres fucking 40 of em, as the lion was chewing one them, 30 of em pile on his fucking back...I don't care how fucking big the lion is...hes going fucking down. once hes on the ground rolling, obv to get the 30 midgets off his fucking back(this process kills around 15 midgets) the leftover 9 start attacking the weak point he fucking left open from rolling. Throat, balls, eyes, etc. And have you seen midget soccer? Midgets can fucking kick...they don't need weapons if their stomping his ass...so now the lions got a whole mess of midgets all over him preventing him from even rolling off his back...in the long run I see 31 midget casualties and 1 lion casualty

Midgets would win though, hands down.
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RThomas
Level 1 Judge


Joined: 31 Aug 2004
Posts: 389

PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2006 3:14 am    Post subject: Re: 40 Midgets vs. a Lion Reply with quote

Did you idiots miss this part of the quote?

RThomas wrote:
* Lion is highly agitated, midgets know there's no way out until the lion is dead (they have to fight)


Think of the midgets as hyenas without teeth, quick legs, or hooves which to bat at the lion with. And the lion, in this example, is not going to become suddenly un-agitated somewhere through the fight. It's pissed at every single one of those little bastards, and it's going to kill all of them.

Really, Craze, would you risk your life to punch and kick at the thick fur of a lion when there are 39 others in front of you that are perfectly sacrificable as long as you live for the next ten seconds? You're going to be scared shitless either way. No way you fly in all kamikaze on the lion and ninja his ass. No way the midgets do it either, when the lion is able to fit three midgets heads in his mouth in the first place.

No contest.

Also, keep the racism and idiotic spam out of my threads.
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Craze



Joined: 30 Jan 2005
Posts: 5676
Location: Indiana, U

PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2006 1:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

personally, a lion could kick my ass. With 39 others though? Fuck, I wouldn't let it kill me without a fight. It takes initally the period of seeing it eat a midget to get over your fears and for basic human instinct to kick in. Then you go all Donkey Kong on it like King Kong V.S. the 3 T-Rex's
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