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[New Feature] Ask cmc!


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Reply to topic    Magic-League.com Forum Index -> Other - Non-Magic
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derflippi
Level 4 Judge


Joined: 19 Mar 2005
Posts: 1402
Location: Weiterstad

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 4:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I believe he gets himself an Octopus who will type in several answers at once.



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Weedmonkey



Joined: 30 Sep 2004
Posts: 324

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 4:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear cmc,

As a long-time fan of your steadfast ability to show trolls who's boss and your perseverence as a Magic-League judge, I was wondering how you see yourself as a beacon and guiding light for the Magic-League community.

Love,
A long-forgotten queen
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Sebas_



Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Posts: 88

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 11:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear cmc

┐How can i be so good as Husapi is?
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thedarkness



Joined: 13 Jul 2006
Posts: 581

PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 11:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So cmc. I'm being sexually abused by my cat, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation. I tried telling my family, but they think I'm insane. I got a less than satisfactory reaction from the police, too...by which I mean they said they would arrest me if I kept making prank calls to their emergency dispatch line.

Of course, standing up to her is just out of the question, and my cat told me that if she ever heard of me trying shit like that again, she'd kill me. What do you recommend?
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cmc
Level 3 Judge


Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

xainas wrote:
Dear CMC

If I had one coconut, and the other person on the island tried to steal it. Would it be okay to kill him and sacrifice him to the coconut gods?


Dear xainas,

Rather than sacrificing him to the coconut gods, I would recommend feeding the corpse to an octopus. To show its gratitude, the octopus will probably give you a ride back to the mainland.

cmc
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cmc
Level 3 Judge


Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

EmoNinjaSuck wrote:
Dear CMC,
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

Please help!


Dear EmoNinjaSuck,

To prevent this guy from cheating, all you need to do is get him to associate cheating with fear. To do this, simply follow him around and whenever he meets another woman, drop some juvenile gloomwidows on or around him. For example, you could slip a few into his meal or into his shirt pocket.


After a few encounters with these, he'll never think about cheating ever again!

As for the child, if you end up deciding that you don't want it, you can always give it to the gloomwidows for saving your relationship.

Good luck,
cmc
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GoneBananas
Level 1 Judge


Joined: 09 Dec 2006
Posts: 329

PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

dear cmc,
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
also, my opp sacrifices my island to his nantuko husk, can i respond by mindcontroling the husk and sac him?
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caesarthehun



Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 186

PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Weedmonkey wrote:
Dear cmc,


Love,
A long-forgotten queen

Wait...you're a girl? I've been lurking for 4 years and never noticed you are a girl? god I feel awful.

Anyway,
Dear cmc,
So in all seriousness, I love magic. When I was very little, my oldest sister used to play with beta-unlimited cards in the lunchroom. Then my second oldest played merc. masques era magic with her friends, it has become a family tradition. I've played since (im dating myself here) Onslaught and I love the game. Everything about it, from the tourney scene to the novels. I love the judges, I love the players misguided sense of "social lives", I love the international community, I have always loved M-L (Long live Apprentice btw), But there is something deep, dark and troubling in my soul. The cost of magic is increasing radically. I know this may seem to be an old fallback for the "heralds of doom" that appear before every release; but seriously I can't do it. I can't man-up and spend 80-90 dollars per jace. I refuse to build a budget RDW becuase its still over 100 dollars (and I hate the luck value of "topdeck lightningbolt I win"). Every time I try to make a serious point about this on the M-L i get shot down with: "That's why we play on ML dude!".
Everyone needs to understand that without magic, there will be no more M-l (in the way we experience it now). Why? Because prices are simply being gouged. Remember lorwyn block? two years ago? Faeries=250-300, maybe 400 late in the season. It was the most played deck hands down, and possibly the best. Before that, gargagoyf-ish decks were borderline 200.
don't need to tell you what modern deck prices are, you know for sure. This is killing my love for the game, and certainly will kill the game itself if the gouging doesn't stop. Where will it end? super mythic rares? Jace, the ultimate ender of games? 5 card boosters?
Seriously, I know you aren't MaRo and probably aren't WoTc staff but please, please, try to do something about this that doesn't involve an octopus.

edit:for grammar


Last edited by caesarthehun on Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:59 am; edited 1 time in total
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cmc
Level 3 Judge


Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

InWaking wrote:
Dear CMC

Long time reader first time writer, you see I have a girlfriend who says I only think and care about magic. I don't want to quit playing and I do not want to lose her.
I tried to get her an octopus to fill the void of our relationship that I suppose I may have been filling on my end with magic but it only lasted a few months before Lorthos had passed away. I would get her another but the first cost so much mana and I started to feel like the third wheel in the relationship as she always wanted to spend time alone with him, which felt odd to me as whenever I would walk into the room with Lorthos he'd give me this feeling of being unwelcomed plus my girls labido had seemed to vanish in those months I suppose his passing was for the best.

I attempted to get her into magic, but she thought we would role play and something about my girlfriend being Chandra Nalaar and trying to burn my balls was just not tickling my fancy.

How can I show my girlfriend that I love her equally as magic and I would like to take our relationship to the next plane?


Dear InWaking,

Great idea getting an octopus! However, your mistake was getting Lorthos. Lorthos is of legendary status, so it makes sense that your girlfriend would rather be with him than you. Should you get another octopus, go for a generic giant one. You'll have little problem taming it.

With that out of the way, your first course of action should be to roll the planar die. If you roll the planeswalker symbol, DING! you're in the next plane! If that fails, the situation becomes slightly more complicated.

You'll need to deceive her into thinking that you are the best thing since octopi. To do this, simply bring her to the next PTQ in your area. After she hangs around fat, sweaty magic players for a few rounds, she should be begging you to take her home, and will feel forever indebted to you when you do. One final word of advice for you: If you see a modo ringer at the PTQ, RUN AWAY AS FAST AS POSSIBLE, or your girl will be lost forever.

cmc
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cmc
Level 3 Judge


Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ZeMuppet wrote:
Dear cmc,

How can I be cool like you?

Sincerely,
Lame Netter


Dear ZeMuppet,

Eat some octopus juk! It will increase your coolness factor tenfold.



cmc
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cmc
Level 3 Judge


Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tird_Ape wrote:
dear cmc,
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
also, my opp sacrifices my island to his nantuko husk, can i respond by mindcontroling the husk and sac him?


Dear Tird_Ape,

I will answer your question with another question.

if I play torren of soul+
target siege gan comander

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cmc
Level 3 Judge


Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Weedmonkey wrote:
Dear cmc,

As a long-time fan of your steadfast ability to show trolls who's boss and your perseverence as a Magic-League judge, I was wondering how you see yourself as a beacon and guiding light for the Magic-League community.

Love,
A long-forgotten queen


Dear Queenie,

Thanks for the kind words! I plan to use my influence as a community beacon to create more cmc-esque judges. To anyone taking the judge test, request me for a trainer! I will teach you the ways of steam.spitter.cz



cmc
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cmc
Level 3 Judge


Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

thedarkness wrote:
So cmc. I'm being sexually abused by my cat, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation. I tried telling my family, but they think I'm insane. I got a less than satisfactory reaction from the police, too...by which I mean they said they would arrest me if I kept making prank calls to their emergency dispatch line.

Of course, standing up to her is just out of the question, and my cat told me that if she ever heard of me trying shit like that again, she'd kill me. What do you recommend?


Hi,

If the police won't put up with your pranks, why should I have to? While I can't threaten to arrest you, I would send you a box full of woolly spiders that hadn't eaten for a long period of time.



I recommend you think about that before you harass me again.

cmc
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cmc
Level 3 Judge


Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

caesarthehun wrote:
Dear cmc,
So in all seriousness, I love magic. When I was very little, my oldest sister used to play with beta-unlimited cards in the lunchroom. Then my second oldest played merc. masques era magic with her friends, it has become a family tradition. I've played since (im dating myself here) Onslaught and I love the game. Everything about it, from the tourney scene to the novels. I love the judges, I love the players misguided sense of "social lives", I love the international community, I have always loved M-L (Long live Apprentice btw), But there is something deep, dark and troubling in my soul. The cost of magic is increasing radically. I know this may seem to be an old fallback for the "heralds of doom" that appear before every release; but seriously I can't do it. I can't man-up and spend 80-90 dollars per jace. I refuse to build a budget RDW becuase its still over 100 dollars (and I hate the luck value of "topdeck lightningbolt I win"). Every time I try to make a serious point about this on the M-L i get shot down with: "That's why we play on ML dude!".
Everyone needs to understand that without magic, there will be no more M-l (in the way we experience it now). Why? Because prices are simply being gouged. Remember lorwyn block? two years ago? Faeries=250-300, maybe 400 late in the season. It was the most played deck hands down, and possibly the best. Before that, gargagoyf-ish decks were borderline 200.
don't need to tell you what modern deck prices are, you know for sure. This is killing my love for the game, and certainly will kill the game itself if the gouging doesn't stop. Where will it end? super mythic rares? Jace, the ultimate ender of games? 5 card boosters?
Seriously, I know you aren't MaRo and probably aren't WoTc staff but please, please, try to do something about this that doesn't involve an octopus.


Dear caesarthehun,

<%Ehri> dont complain :/

cmc
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AppleofEris



Joined: 20 Dec 2006
Posts: 553

PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 5:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear cmc,

I tried the octopus juk and I feel slightly cooler than I was, but still not Fonzi level yet, but that's not what I wrote you about.

I recently just passed the judges test (with an earnest 9/10) and I am awaiting approval. If I make it to training, will you please teach me the ways of the judge?

Sincerely,
ready to make minis in Walla Walla, Washington
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