Written by SarcasticRat on May 31, 2006
Type Two Tech: 300-Card Zoo
by SarcasticRatType Two is a very wide open format, with an amazingly large amount of decks
available. Thanks to the new duals, playing almost everything is possible. With this in mind, I have decided to unleash my savage new deck for all of you to see. I call it 300 Card Zoo, because it's a Zoo deck that plays with 300 cards. Now you're probably wondering, why run 300 cards? The answer is very simple. Because 300 card decks are far more consistent than 60 card decks. Plus, I don't automatically scoop to Mill decks like all of the other Zoo decks do. This deck is also very strong against cards such as Cranial Extraction, Pithing Needle, or Neverending Torment.
The other advantage to 300 cards is threat diversity. Because I run about 150 threats in this deck and most decks run about 30, I will win every game I play. How are their measly 8 removal spells going to deal with my gigantic army of 131 creatures? Likewise, how will their 20-30 creatures deal with my 57 removal spells? The answer is simple; they won't. That is why this deck will be a powerhouse in this format, once I get enough money from my mom to actually build it in real life.
Now I know you guys are very anxious to see this amazing list I've been telling you about, so without further adieu, here it is:
Since some of these cards might be a little random looking, I will go through and explain why I put in each card.
Sacred Foundry - This land taps for two colors of mana
Breeding Pool - This land taps for two colors of mana
Hallowed Fountain - This land tap for two colors of mana
Temple Garden - This land taps for two colors of mana
Godless Shrine - This land taps for two colors of mana
Steam Vents - This land taps for two colors of mana
Stomping Ground - This land taps for two colors of mana
Watery Grave - This land taps for two colors of mana
Blood Crypt - This land taps for two colors of mana
Overgrown Tomb - This land taps for two colors of mana
Battlefield Forge - This land taps for two colors of mana with little
drawback
Yavimaya Coast - This land taps for two colors of mana with little drawback
Adarkar Wastes - This land taps for two colors of mana with little drawback
Brushland - This land taps for two colors of mana with little drawback
Caves of Koilos - This land taps for two colors of mana with little drawback
Shivan Reef - This land taps for two colors of mana with little drawback
Karplusan Forest - This land taps for two colors of mana with little
drawback
Underground River - This land taps for two colors of mana with little
drawback
Sulfurous Springs - This land taps for two colors of mana with little
drawback
Llanowar Wastes - This land taps for two colors of mana with little drawback
Forbidden Orchard - This land taps for five colors of mana. Plus since I
have nearly 50 removal spells in this deck, the drawback is negligible.
Forest - These make green mana
Island - These make blue mana
Swamp - These make black mana
Plains - These make white mana
Mountain - These make red mana
Ninja of the Deep Hours - This is a great tempo card for the deck. With 40 one drops, this guy will almost always ninjutsu on turn 2, and from there you just can overwhelm your opponent with card advantage.
Dryad Sophisticate - Retards in this format run like eleventy billion non-basic lands, so this guy is almost always unblockable.
Silhana Ledgewalker - Since nobody runs anything with flying, this guy is also unblockable almost all the time. Plus he's insane with Moldervine Cloak.
Kami of Ancient Law - Great for getting rid of pesky enchantments like Blood Moon, Dovescape, Reverence, Wurmweaver Coil, Blockbuster, or Nihilistic Glee.
Hearth Kami - Great for getting rid of pesky artifacts like Umezawa's Jitte, Muse Vessel, Sensei's Divining Top, Nullstone Garygoyle, Grim Monolith, or Junkyo Bell.
Frostling - This card is excellent in this deck. He swings for one then can sacrifice himself to trade with two power creatures such as Pious Kitsune.
Rumbling Slum - This guy is awesome. He's a 5/5 for four mana, and speeds up your opponents clock. Since you barely run any lands that take away from your life total unlike most people, he will almost always be killing your opponent and not you.
Savannah Lions - This is a one mana creature with a power greater than one.
Kird Ape - In this deck, he's almost always sometimes a 2/3 for one mana. And let's face it: 2/3s for one mana just flat out win games.
Selesnya Guildmage - This is a 2/2 for two mana that occasionally does something else.
Rakdos Guildmage - This is a 2/2 for two mana that occasionally does something else.
Gruul Guildmage - This is a 2/2 for two mana that occasionally does something else.
Azorius First-Wing - 2/2 flyers for two are amazing, and this guy has the added benefit of dodging enemy Nettling Curses or Moldervine Cloaks.
Shrieking Grotesque - This guy is a great deal. He only costs three mana, is a 2/1 flyer, and can sometimes pick off dangerous cards from your opponent's hand, such as Ulasht, the Hate Seed.
Dark Confidant - This one is an auto-include basically. He's a 2/1 body for two, and every turn draws you cards with nearly no drawback. Sure, topdecking a Grozoth or Suncrusher can be rough, but that's only like a 5 in 300 chance.
Watchwolf - This is a creature that costs two mana or less and has a power of two or greater. Therefore, it's an auto-include.
Frenzied Goblin - 1/1s for R are always good, and this guy has the added benefit of forcing through your bigger creatures like Grozoth.
Isamaru, Hound of Konda - This is a creature that has a power greater than one and costs one mana. It's also huge to get rid of enemy Isamarus so when you draw into your next Isamaru their Isamaru will die.
Orzhov Guildmage - This is a 2/2 for two mana that can occasionally do something else.
Burning-Tree Shaman - This is a 3/4 for three mana and is also mad tech against Flame Vault.
Lantern Kami - This is a creature that costs one mana and has evasion
Suntail Hawk - See: Lantern Kami
Birds of Paradise - See: Suntail Hawk. It also makes mana.
Scab-Clan Mauler - Since this deck runs 40 one drops as I mentioned earlier, this guy is almost always a 3/3 trample for two mana. And 3/3 tramples are awesome.
Mistral Charger - This is a creature that costs two mana, has evasion, and a power of two or greater.
Loxodon Hierarch - This card is great at slowing enemy aggro, and is a 4/4 body
for four mana. Since this deck plays forests and plains, it is an auto-include.Scorched Rusalka - This is a one mana creature that occasionally does something else.
Plagued Rusalka - See: Scorched Rusalka
Ravenous Rats - This is a good card because sometimes your opponent discards something good.
Azorius Guildmage - This is a 2/2 for two mana that occasionally does something else.
Pride of the Clouds - This card is amazing for getting uncounterable threats
against decks such as UR Tron, URg Tron, U Tron, R Tron, UR Tron-Vore, URg Tron-Vore, UR Vore, URg Vore, URb Vore, URw Vore, Mono Red Vore, Mono Blue Vore, Purple Rainbow Vore, and Purple Rainbow Tron-Vore. Oh, and that deck with Zur's Weirding in it.
Azorius Herald - This is a creature with evasion that gains life.
Grozoth - This guy is really the heart of the deck. Not only is he a whopping 9/9 for 9, but he also transmutes for valuable cards in the deck.
Myojin of Life's Web - This card is so good. Transmuting it off of Grozoth with 12 mana available and 7 creatures in hand is almost like cheating.
Suncrusher - This guy is the MVP. This deck gains Sunburst with incredible ease, and from there he's a one man rainbow killing machine with an 8/8 body that is impossible to remove. You'll win so many games with this guy single-handedly, so it's worth the occasional match loss you get because he isn't Standard legal.
Shock - This is cheap removal
Umezawa's Jitte - This is an amazing card in any aggro/aggro mirrors. Watch out for the hot synergy this card has with creatures. You'll thank me for that tech later.
Moldervine Cloak - This card is great because it makes your creatures bigger, which gives them more self-confidence when they enter battle.
Electrolyze - This is good removal, and it cantrips so you can keep digging for more cards.
Farseek - This deck doesn't need mana fixing really, but it needs this card so it can accelerate into a turn 8 Grozoth or Suncrusher.
Char - See: Shock
Putrefy - See: Char
Mortify - See: Putrefy
Seal of Fire - See: Mortify
Volcanic Hammer - See: Seal of Fire
Pithing Needle - This card is good at stopping stuff with activated
abilities.
Lightning Helix - See: Volcanic Hammer
Yamabushi's Flame - See: Lightning Helix. This card is also tech against opposing Firemane Angels.
Plague Wind - This card is amazing. Against any deck with creatures, you can just transmute Grozoth for this and pwn their freaking faces off. The look on their face when you cast Plague Wind on them is almost worth the ludicrous amount you had to pay to build this deck.
Flames of the Blood Hand - This card is good at speeding up your clock.
Battle of Wits - I felt the deck could use an alternate win condition, and after days of deliberating and searching furiously on Gatherer, I came up with this little gem. This card is just an auto-win against everything.
Matchup Analysis
vs. BW decks - 0-10. This was a frustrating series of test games. For some reason my deck would always get randomly mana screwed and the opponent would beat me. I have a feeling I just got screwed by the MWS shuffler.
vs. Vore - 0-10. Once again, it just seemed like I was never drawing what I needed. I know it's not the deck, because there's just no way; that could be the only explanation. Once again, I think bigger things were at play in this match. Like the MWS shuffler.
vs. UW control - 1-9. My deck finally did work one game where I was on the ropes, then made a great comeback when he accidentally disconnected from MWS and left. The other 9 games were about the same though, as my deck just didn't seem that consistent. It was probably the MWS shuffler.
vs. Gruul Beats/Zoo - 3-7. I figured this match would be like a bye, since I'm basically the same deck but with more colors and more creatures. Unfortunately these decks somehow still gave me a hard time. I just never had the answers. This was definitely a case of getting screwed by the MWS shuffler.
vs. Owl - 10-0. This matchup was so easy. They just kept letting me draw cards and I kept playing stuff. I can't believe how easy this match was. I even won at least 8 of the games despite being screwed by the MWS shuffler. This is definitely a positive matchup for this deck, and I would advise this deck if your entire metagame is Owl.
So that's about it for the deck. It definitely is a force to be reckoned with in this format, and I encourage all of you to give it a shot. As long as it doesn't get screwed by the MWS shuffler, it dominates every deck in this format.
Thanks and have fun!
- SarcasticRat
SarcasticRat on 2006-05-31 16:24 EST Me > magic-league
by
RiQuSP on 2006-05-31 16:27 EST Lol.
stopped reading after the first block...
by
ChuckNorris on 2006-05-31 16:28 EST Rofl... good deck man.
by
Buffalo_Wing on 2006-05-31 16:29 EST I LOVE YOU
by
synch987 on 2006-05-31 16:29 EST not first
by
eEnder on 2006-05-31 16:31 EST tremendo
very fun¡
by
affinity2412 on 2006-05-31 16:32 EST ur a rock star
by
Pekken on 2006-05-31 16:32 EST What a great article. The in-depth analysis of the manabase was especially appreciated.
by
Shalashaska on 2006-05-31 16:37 EST i dont like it. logic is very flawed, and the matchup only seemed well against owling mine. and everyone knows that owling mine is bad.
by
kamikaze112 on 2006-05-31 16:37 EST Looking trhough the deck it looks interesting, one problem though . . . Suncrusher isnt T2 legal
by
digikma on 2006-05-31 16:45 EST Since when was fifth dawn still t2?
cough "suncrusher" cough
by
sKeEtSkEeT on 2006-05-31 16:46 EST yeh thats just what iw as gonna say
5th dawn
not quite legal champ
this was a rogue article right??
man ur match records are SICK!
by
SarcasticRat on 2006-05-31 16:48 EST by Shalashaska on 2006-05-31 15:37 CDT
i dont like it. logic is very flawed, and the matchup only seemed well against owling mine. and everyone knows that owling mine is bad.
by KaMiKaZe112 on 2006-05-31 15:37 CDT
Looking trhough the deck it looks interesting, one problem though . . . Suncrusher isnt T2 legal
by digikma on 2006-05-31 15:45 CDT
Since when was fifth dawn still t2?
cough "suncrusher" cough
by sKeEtSkEeT on 2006-05-31 15:46 CDT
yeh thats just what iw as gonna say
5th dawn
not quite legal champ
All of you have been pwned. GG retards, and maybe try reading the damn article before you reply. THX.
by
Kaos on 2006-05-31 16:50 EST Well... I think the deck is a bit weak. You run too many cards, I think taht you could focus the deck a bit more, ya know...?
Bad, bad deck.
Horrible card explanations.
One star.
by
Televator on 2006-05-31 16:54 EST *frantically bites his fingernails awaiting apprentice 2.0 so that it will have a shuffler that can handle this tech
by
Sniperfan on 2006-05-31 16:58 EST Do you not realize this is a big joke?
LAUGH
..............hahahahaha
by
Akral on 2006-05-31 17:00 EST I like this article :)
by
Void06 on 2006-05-31 17:12 EST very very funny ^__^ 5/5
by
Beta on 2006-05-31 17:15 EST my body hurts from laughing now.
props to the idiots who just look at a decklist and then post without reading the article!
by
cjthedude on 2006-05-31 17:17 EST this article is stupid :/
by
wedgeex on 2006-05-31 17:22 EST "Suncrusher - This guy is the MVP. This deck gains Sunburst with incredible ease, and from there he's a one man rainbow killing machine with an 8/8 body that is impossible to remove. You'll win so many games with this guy single-handedly, so it's worth the occasional match loss you get because he isn't Standard legal."
Oh, SarcasticRat, you're the worst!
by
_Metallica_ on 2006-05-31 17:25 EST I just want to know where the fuck are the Nephilims!, oh and i think a single Bringer of the Black Dawn should make the cut, i mean you can even transmute grozoth for it, even if you lose some games because he is not legal.
by
ejv on 2006-05-31 17:50 EST the ninja of the deep hours part is the best "this guy will almost aways nunjitsu on turn 2" lol
by
Hermit_Druid on 2006-05-31 17:50 EST I am Playing this the next chance I get.
Seriously.
by
Skizzik on 2006-05-31 17:55 EST I would replace the Grzoth with Blazing Archon, if you want to make it completely standard legal. You can search him up with Grozoth and when you have him on the battlefield you basically can not lose (remember you have 300 cards in deck so they will always deck first). And wtf, where is Vhitu Ghazi? Take some basics out to make room for them. Else your list looks fine
by
kamikaze112 on 2006-05-31 17:57 EST Ouch, I'm scarred for life b/c I got called a retard online, OMFGZZZZZZZ LIEK UR R TEH FUNN13ST11111!!1!1!!! 1+shift
Seriously, wow I didnt read the entire article so what. I don't know your ways Rat and I now know them I'm sorry for me rushing to a conclusion.
by
MathAenya on 2006-05-31 18:01 EST Marvelous !
The best article of this contest ;)
by
Hacko on 2006-05-31 18:03 EST -1 Suncrusher
+1 Battle of Wits
PLX!!!
by
sonicqaz on 2006-05-31 18:15 EST I don't like it, Suncrusher isn't legal.
***Straighten's football helmet and drools on self. ***
by
Trivial on 2006-05-31 18:21 EST Oh my gosh that was funny.
Jeff
by
Polluz on 2006-05-31 18:32 EST Article of the month. already.
perhaps even article of the year. i cant stop laughing.
P.
by
Strovil on 2006-05-31 18:33 EST I cannot believe something so stupid was actually printed.
by
roelof on 2006-05-31 18:35 EST Best article ever Pulbished on the site by far.
by
KaleGozer on 2006-05-31 18:38 EST Article of the Month.
by
Buffalo_Wing on 2006-05-31 18:39 EST Strovil, don't be hating cause rat's black. best article ever written by far.
by
Thalai on 2006-05-31 18:46 EST Nuts
by
tcook589 on 2006-05-31 18:47 EST Farseek - This deck doesn't need mana fixing really, but it needs this card so it can accelerate into a turn 8 Grozoth or Suncrusher.
by
masterorb on 2006-05-31 18:49 EST This is a joke, right?
by
Polluz on 2006-05-31 18:51 EST btw, quite funny to see literally áll people reacting seriously or negative have this red/white/blue striped and starred flagthingie next to their name.
no judgement here. it múst be some random coincidence (A)
P.
by
Gerrardfo on 2006-05-31 18:51 EST Yes, it's a joke.
by
ChristPunchr on 2006-05-31 18:52 EST Has to be a joke, I'd fucking kill myself if I ever lost to this deck.
by
Kaos on 2006-05-31 18:52 EST Yes, Americanians are stupid, lazy people...
by
Buffalo_Wing on 2006-05-31 18:55 EST if you don't like the article because you just don't find it funny, k.
if you took it seriously, you probably need to jump off of a building. harsh but true.
by
Meldethar on 2006-05-31 18:57 EST LOL I commented before I finished reading the article...
Yeah guys, we've been pwned. This is definately some M-L History here...hahahaha
Good job, Sarcastic Rat.
by
eaglewolf on 2006-05-31 19:00 EST best.
article.
evar.
by
coppro on 2006-05-31 19:06 EST I somehow think the term Sarcastic comes into play here.
by
TheAshGame on 2006-05-31 19:08 EST lol nice article, but you really should have added coat of arms, obv 21/21 swinging guildmages are pretty good! Kuro, Pitload obviously needs to go in the deck since you can tutor for it with Grozoth and for only like 20 life (which is nothing really cause you're running Jittes, Helix, Heralds and Hierarches it's obviously not a problem)
Seriously though, the only thing more funny then this article are the idiots who didn't get the joke.
by
metzel_usa on 2006-05-31 19:10 EST Dude....that was the list I won Minn. Regionals with...It is amazing...It DOES NOT have a bad match against anything. Trust me. Suncrusher can just win games.....he does it better than Meloku. 'Nuff saud
by
Noremac on 2006-05-31 19:16 EST Agreed....I laughed my ass off alway the way through this article. I think this is a great example of what not to do for aspiring deck article writers to do (his card descriptions) and looks a little like what some do.
Kird Ape - In this deck, he's almost always sometimes a 2/3 for one mana. And let's face it: 2/3s for one mana just flat out win games.
Forest- this makes green mana.
So funny!
What makes this article about three times as funny is the morons that keep responding about how the deck is crap and ideas to improve it.
by
Spyx on 2006-05-31 19:23 EST omg lol! in the beginning I was really feeling sorry for you as I had the feeling that it might just be a serious deck but then I got to the card descriptions and ROFL'ed! 'You'll win so many games with this guy single-handedly, so it's worth the occasional match loss you get because he isn't Standard legal.'
XD
article of the eternal!
stupid mws shuffler :P
by
Yourmom on 2006-05-31 19:38 EST best article
ever
by
Stucco on 2006-05-31 19:51 EST Your cheap removal sequence was genius. Great Article.
by
kikimikejiki on 2006-05-31 20:10 EST me n bigshow saw it first!
by
Banditking87 on 2006-05-31 20:11 EST .....300 card zoo, theory is good, but c'mon 300 cards dnt work lol
by
NahHolmes on 2006-05-31 20:11 EST "Dryad Sophisticate - Retards in this format run like eleventy billion non-basic lands, so this guy is almost always unblockable."
Hahahah.
by
Dragon_Lady on 2006-05-31 20:18 EST SarcasticRat, I didn't think you would actually do it. GJ man, I <3 you for it.
by
ishocrone on 2006-05-31 20:33 EST well for all u guys out there u no that women are pretty blond well during the first pharagraph i was like what the hell how can this work i wasted my life building the deck and testing it once so yah just let u no lol funny article sarcastic rat GJ
Ishocrone
by
Pollo on 2006-05-31 20:43 EST lol
by
Nom_Anor on 2006-05-31 21:56 EST See: MathAenya
by
Blake- on 2006-05-31 22:05 EST Nice.
by
ZionHelix on 2006-05-31 22:20 EST :/ amusing but a bit of a waste of time
by
Bweebwee on 2006-05-31 22:25 EST "This card is great because it makes your creatures bigger, which gives them more self-confidence when they enter battle."
"Watch out for the hot synergy this card has with creatures. You'll thank me for that tech later."
"Retards in this format run like eleventy billion non-basic lands, so this guy is almost always unblockable."
"1/1s for R are always good"
"Because 300 card decks are far more consistent than 60 card decks"
Funny stuff! Great article.
by
TaterSalad on 2006-05-31 22:37 EST SarcasticRat, I have lost all of the little respect that I used to have for you. I can't believe that even the most disrespectful prick would taint the high quality of the articles on magic-league.com with useless trash such as this. If I was an administrator on this website, then I would ban you without blinking and eye.
by
Buffalo_Wing on 2006-06-01 00:06 EST Tater:
useful links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humor
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire
read and report back!!
by
Eduardo on 2006-06-01 00:10 EST The most weird deck I have seen since the Battle of Wits. Still I don't think it would work.
by
poopascoopa on 2006-06-01 00:32 EST I hope this is a joke...it's a horrible deck and sorry, but you have no business writing articles for M-L. You're nowhere near good enough
by
poopascoopa on 2006-06-01 00:41 EST Okay, this time I actually read most of it and it's obviously a joke. You should've tried harder...I could've made this article 10 times funnier than it is.
Oh well, you still shouldn't be allowed to write anything for M-L.
by
Goji on 2006-06-01 01:13 EST lol i was gonna reply earlier i knew the article was a joke from like the first line but it could of been funnier tho. even tho this isa joke i think im gonna play this deck ina mini and try to win with it just for a laugh.. but i am gonna -1 suncrusher for like 1 more witts lol
by
Goji on 2006-06-01 01:15 EST damn i was going to if it had a save link of the deck but im not putting all of that in 1 by 1.. too much time lol
by
FlyingBird on 2006-06-01 01:20 EST i like pie
isnt it weird how theres still some posts near the bottom saying its crap?
by
Elnaith on 2006-06-01 01:55 EST .. Jup this article has definately made me play this deck.. Go insanely large amounts of cards!
(;-))
by
VacancyMan on 2006-06-01 01:57 EST This is the greatest Magic: the Gathering article of all time, supplanting Jarrod Bright's "Fireworks" on my list. I have only ever experienced such literally incapacitating laughter through bash.org marathons. SarcasticRat, you are forever a legend to me.
by
Pizat on 2006-06-01 02:25 EST Rat, i <3 u, but the next time you write an article move to wisconsin first. us MN magic players will hunt you down and kick you in the tights and you will go down; you are very top-heavy.
on a side note, your deck has obviously foiled my idea of U/W millstone control for janky deck contest :(
by
Rorix on 2006-06-01 02:27 EST "Pride of the Clouds - This card is amazing for getting uncounterable threats
against decks such as UR Tron, URg Tron, U Tron, R Tron, UR Tron-Vore, URg Tron-Vore, UR Vore, URg Vore, URb Vore, URw Vore, Mono Red Vore, Mono Blue Vore, Purple Rainbow Vore, and Purple Rainbow Tron-Vore. Oh, and that deck with Zur's Weirding in it."
LOL!!!!!!!
Awesome article :D
by
Strovil on 2006-06-01 02:39 EST B_W, if I want to bring black on black violence to M-L, I will.
by
hawkeye1542 on 2006-06-01 03:24 EST lmao......i think i could die just laughing at the idiots that replied to this...
in all honesty though, anyone who didnt know this was a joke the minute they saw the title should immediately be castrated so that they can no longer contaminate the gene pool.
by
fingon on 2006-06-01 03:27 EST lol. gj SarcasticRat, keep up the good work.
/me is of to build purple rainbow vore
by
gumonshoe on 2006-06-01 04:11 EST i litterally pissed my self!
Myojin of Life's Web - This card is so good. Transmuting it off of Grozoth with 12 mana available and 7 creatures in hand is almost like cheating.
Pride of the Clouds - This card is amazing for getting uncounterable threats
against decks such as UR Tron, URg Tron, U Tron, R Tron, UR Tron-Vore, URg Tron-Vore, UR Vore, URg Vore, URb Vore, URw Vore, Mono Red Vore, Mono Blue Vore, Purple Rainbow Vore, and Purple Rainbow Tron-Vore. Oh, and that deck with Zur's Weirding in it.
i am currently running the monoblue vore
by
h0m3r on 2006-06-01 05:14 EST repetitive and obvious. wow, lets post a bad deck and pretend its good ftw. sweetness.
by
Tinefol on 2006-06-01 07:11 EST As always, hate comments are funnier than 'this supposed to be funny' article itself. Its slightly funny at most.
by
Atatator on 2006-06-01 08:22 EST lololololol rofl rofl rofl rofl roflmao lolololol
by
packman on 2006-06-01 08:51 EST best article ever :D
"Plus, I don't automatically scoop to Mill decks like all of the other Zoo decks do"
by
indie on 2006-06-01 09:06 EST best line was:"...and can sometimes pick off dangerous cards from your opponent's hand, such as Ulasht, the Hate Seed"
by
Trotsky1 on 2006-06-01 09:20 EST Fujita need never build a deck again, nor should anyone else, they should just play this instead.
Though I would add black bringer as people have suggested, for synergy with confidant and grozoth, which if hasnt already settled the game with its power itself, then, transmute for suncrusher, should quickly end the game.
by
wildmage1223 on 2006-06-01 09:42 EST I actually LMAO'd. You pwned out there man. Props galore. Suncrusher is a must like the guy who finished in 2nd in the Edison regionals with Mindslaver on his SB.
by
DarkfnTempla on 2006-06-01 09:45 EST Oh you suck! I started wrting my article and we opened up the same way. Hmm now i have to rewrite it.
by
limbs on 2006-06-01 09:52 EST sweet
by
LlamaOfDoom on 2006-06-01 11:52 EST Ahahahaha, that was awesome. And I was actually afraid you might be serious until "Plus, I don't automatically scoop to Mill decks like all of the other Zoo decks do."
I'm definitely making this deck for FNM.
by
DRjester on 2006-06-01 12:18 EST Ha HA! 300 cards may be supereor to 60, but my 400 card Heartbeat deck will outrace you every time! Plus, my Grozoth's Transmute for Darksteel Forges, so you can't hinder my mana development by killing my signets! I can't lose! (except for that stupid MWS shuffler...sigh)
by
wyatt290 on 2006-06-01 12:22 EST i like it lmfao!!!!!!
wait what hes saying doesnt make any sence but still is awesome
my vote for article of the month!!!!
and why isnt infernal tutor in here?
by
iKe on 2006-06-01 13:04 EST by Strovil on 2006-05-31 18:33 EDT
I cannot believe something so stupid was actually printed.
Your Just Mad Cause He Made Fun Of The MWS Shuffler.....
Well at first I didn't Bother reading it but When I've seen that people talking about it I read it. LOL GJ
by
KriswithaK on 2006-06-01 13:17 EST GJ SR
by
restricted on 2006-06-01 14:05 EST finally someone who is doing something ironic concerning the mostly ridicilous articles. But iam afraid those guys which post that they dont see this deck working are the same which will annoy us further with articles about decks that already exist and explain why the use every single card instead of explaining their concept in which those choices fit in
by
Buffalo_Wing on 2006-06-01 14:20 EST iKe:
Strovie-pie should be happy, because Rat is making fun of people who blame the shuffler
Homer: ROFL. way to get the joke. i bet you're a riot at parties.
Strovil: This is how the cycle keeps going! Break the cycle!
by
Von_Douche on 2006-06-01 14:31 EST SarcasticRat said:
All of you have been pwned. GG retards
OK...you wasted hours writing this piece of shit, which was probably completely read by only 3 people including yourself. You're clearly an obese fuck with nothing better to do. I do believe you are the one who was "pwned".
-VonDouche
by
AlexTrebek on 2006-06-01 14:36 EST most. comment. article. ever.
my favorite part
Rumbling Slum - This guy is awesome. He's a 5/5 for four mana, and speeds up your opponents clock. Since you barely run any lands that take away from your life total unlike most people, he will almost always be killing your opponent and not you.
Battlefield Forge - This land taps for two colors of mana with little
drawback
Yavimaya Coast - This land taps for two colors of mana with little drawback
Adarkar Wastes - This land taps for two colors of mana with little drawback
Brushland - This land taps for two colors of mana with little drawback
Caves of Koilos - This land taps for two colors of mana with little drawback
Shivan Reef - This land taps for two colors of mana with little drawback
Karplusan Forest - This land taps for two colors of mana with little
drawback
Underground River - This land taps for two colors of mana with little
drawback
Sulfurous Springs - This land taps for two colors of mana with little
drawback
Llanowar Wastes - This land taps for two colors of mana with little drawback
by
Buffalo_Wing on 2006-06-01 14:43 EST hey vondouche, there are about 30 or more positive comments, and the article has a huge lead for article of the month (50 bucks). Rat is working for about 50 bucks an hour and huge praise.
i do believe you have been pwned. gg retard
btw what's with the horrendous name?
by
ShadowS on 2006-06-01 15:02 EST Well, the deck looks pretty solid. But it needs a SB, especially for mirror matches, because if your running this and end up playing it, it could be all over.
by
Lunarvoltage on 2006-06-01 15:13 EST This artice isn't AN article. This is THE article.
by
Reno43 on 2006-06-01 15:32 EST YES YOUR MY BIGGEST FAN SARCASTIC RaT
Memmy Out
by
zoo on 2006-06-01 15:33 EST Great article, i tried to download it but there was no download link, and I am not copying all those card manually onto MWS or appr. Please make a download link. So much of funny!!!!
by
ANEURYSM on 2006-06-01 15:43 EST "You'll win so many games with this guy single-handedly, so it's worth the occasional match loss you get because he isn't Standard legal."
i think that right there just got you article of the month at the least gg dude
and i agree the ppl being negative need to be killed to protect the genepool but what am i saying like they get laid anyways
by
Grimmjow on 2006-06-01 15:50 EST this deck was so amusing, i decided, i'll actually make it. so here i am, playing against this BW creation, and i wind up winning 2-1. how? no idea, he went down to 10 cards one game. so after being 1-0 with this deck, i retired it.
funny shit.
by
kfcman1084 on 2006-06-01 16:03 EST i think everyone on M-L shud build and test this deck to see if MWS shuffler jus overlodes and dies
by
Chaosweaver on 2006-06-01 16:55 EST by Sniperfan on 2006-05-31 16:58 EDT
Do you not realize this is a big joke?
LAUGH
..............hahahahaha.
your not funny tiny wang (hiss real name i swear to god) i will make the deck irl, and rat im sry but changs will be done and kikimike wil be forced to play it at nats
by
SarcasticRat on 2006-06-01 16:56 EST "by Von_Douche on 2006-06-01 13:31 CDT
SarcasticRat said:
All of you have been pwned. GG retards
OK...you wasted hours writing this piece of shit, which was probably completely read by only 3 people including yourself. You're clearly an obese fuck with nothing better to do. I do believe you are the one who was "pwned".
-VonDouche"
SarcasticRat -- 50 dollars
VonDouche -- 0 dollars
And it took me about the same time to write this article as it took you to come up with that pathetic "insult". Now please, go back to blowing your cat and let the real people enjoy society.
by
Cy on 2006-06-01 18:55 EST So funny. Best article I have ever read on this site and many others. People that don't get it are lame. So, here's my favorite part that no one else seemed to like:
Hearth Kami - Great for getting rid of pesky artifacts like Umezawa's Jitte, Muse Vessel, Sensei's Divining Top, Nullstone Garygoyle, Grim Monolith, or Junkyo Bell.
Gime Monolith! That made me laugh out loud.
Great job!
Laterzzzzzzzzzzzzz
-Cy
by
mikeg542 on 2006-06-01 19:01 EST Possibly more humourous then the article are people's responses to it, though I must admit both parts were good for a nice laugh :)
by
ChristPunchr on 2006-06-01 19:24 EST sarcastic rat: 2
complete fucking idiots: 0
by
adribond007 on 2006-06-01 19:46 EST HAHAHAHAHA! Good job! I had a great time reading this article. The best parts are:
"Pride of the Clouds - This card is amazing for getting uncounterable threats
against decks such as UR Tron, URg Tron, U Tron, R Tron, UR Tron-Vore, URg Tron-Vore, UR Vore, URg Vore, URb Vore, URw Vore, Mono Red Vore, Mono Blue Vore, Purple Rainbow Vore, and Purple Rainbow Tron-Vore. Oh, and that deck with Zur's Weirding in it."
"vs. BW decks - 0-10. This was a frustrating series of test games. For some reason my deck would always get randomly mana screwed and the opponent would beat me. I have a feeling I just got screwed by the MWS shuffler."
Oh God! I can't stop laughing.
By the way -> switch it to mono blue.
100 Island
100 Mana leak
100 Battle of wits
And just say you have a lucky charm!
by
crew on 2006-06-01 20:52 EST 300 cards... why? I played battle of wits since the card was printed, hell i'm playing it right now!
but my wits decks have always been below 240 and has work efficiently.
the idea of threat diversity could be adopted by running a bunch of one-ofs, not iust packing 300 cards into a deck.
zoo beats owl with 60 cards, 100 cards, 300 cards. zoo beats owl.
the other problem with 300 cards is that it is prone to gluts. the chances of drawing a 2 land hand and facing no lands for the rest of the game is far more likely with 300 cards than 60.
it's iust not beneficial to run so much because you're sacrificing your synergy and compromising a balance of disruption, removal, and offense.
finally, your board doesn't exist, no search, super slim chance of drawing 1 sb card. have you tested the mirror match yet?
why not cut the deck down to 100 cards?
by
ikariCat on 2006-06-01 20:54 EST by SarcasticRat on 2006-06-01 13:56 PDT
SarcasticRat -- 50 dollars
VonDouche -- 0 dollars
--
ROFL! Jesus I can't help but be amused by this.
by
yho on 2006-06-01 22:34 EST HA .. HA
by
ChristPunchr on 2006-06-02 01:31 EST HAHAHAHA, does Crew know this article is a joke.
Sarcastic rat is king. April fools in June...*sigh*...it's good to laugh.
by
Goji on 2006-06-02 02:20 EST lol @ crew.. I really dont think this should be article of the month.. it is funny but other ppl actually put work into there articles.. but oh well hf
by
MathAenya on 2006-06-02 04:26 EST crew : 0_0 !!
by
gOBbo on 2006-06-02 06:15 EST I know I should not encourage SarcasticRat but ... very amusing.
And honestly, how could ANYONE not understand this was a joke from the get-go? Look "Sarcastic" up in a dictionary!
by
Charlie_D on 2006-06-02 08:17 EST Ahahah. Pretty awesome article. Made me laugh.
by
TypeONegativ on 2006-06-02 09:44 EST Gimme me my 3 seconds back! ;)
by
SteveOB on 2006-06-02 15:14 EST Nice article :)
by
Eliminator on 2006-06-02 16:01 EST IamDanny: And SarcasticRat didn't work hard to make his article?
by
dizzy on 2006-06-02 17:45 EST i think its all been said!!!!! lmao loved it personally. to anyone who didnt know it was a joke. only one thing i can say. SARCASTICrat. cmon!
by
Sandler on 2006-06-03 18:33 EST Sarcasticrat i hope you die as well as every other person who who thought this article was funny.I havent talked much in a while but this is just stupid.
by
TaoMatShan on 2006-06-03 22:46 EST Well it took me 2.5 hours, but I finnaly got this baby in apprentice. Very good article SarcasticRat. The only thing funnier were the motards with too many chromosomes to realize you were joking. Well played. Obviously the number of illegal immigrants coming to America is inversely corresponding to the IQ of m-l players. (Click here to see the graph.)
by
TaoMatShan on 2006-06-03 22:58 EST p.s. I think crew was serious about playing battle of wits. ouch.
by
lordbyron3 on 2006-06-04 13:56 EST brilliant article.
I'm only ~158 or so cards away from having this built in RL. XP
by
h0m3r on 2006-06-05 17:10 EST the only funny thing about this is the people who didn't get it.
by
aapicazo on 2006-06-06 02:49 EST really nice
by
mark_dunn on 2006-06-06 04:37 EST I understand the article is supposed to be humorous, but I used to play against a guy that had a 300 card deck. He had so many decent cards he couldn't decide which to put in the deck so he started throwing them all together. He sucked but was good to trade with. Got 4 Tundras for 2 Shivan Dragon's once.
I'm not going to comment on the horrid article or the 20 min. i just wasted reading all this crap.
by
Enyeez on 2006-06-06 10:05 EST you are my hero
by
Knives182 on 2006-06-06 16:41 EST SarcasticRat, I am forever in your debt. This article was goddamned hilarious, and the entertainment just kept going and going as n00bs without senses of humor got their panties all in a bunch. Plus I will obviously crush everyone at FNM this week with the new 301-card Zoo deck I designed.
by
miLLa420 on 2006-06-06 16:42 EST it was funny..
but its really not THAT funny.
by
mario on 2006-06-06 23:06 EST What a deck... i'm building it spending all my budget...
by
aggroking on 2006-06-14 10:02 EST wow im going to play this deck
by
xXxOathxXx on 2006-06-16 18:06 EST Wow, SarcasticRat...........
Wow.
by
red_horse on 2006-06-20 14:59 EST wow, nice article... nice deck too, u have so many expensive cards in there u have to play it with the hard plastic thing.. hehe..
well, i guess this article did one good thing, it sorted out people in ML into two, those who hav and those who dont have a sense of humor.. hehehe..
and SR, ever thought of putting counters? some jerk would try to use tunnel vision. lol..
by
Atreyu24 on 2006-06-25 00:32 EST please tell me most of your comments were sarcasm, because if not, and you think nullstone gargoyle is a 'pesky artifact' and that grim monolith is still in T2, i'm going to have to go on a violent angry rampage.
by
Ffancrzy on 2006-07-16 14:27 EST ok...this was quite possibly the best thing i have ever read...like ever...
i think you should have only put 1 battle of wits though because i mean you have Bob to tutor for it so why waste slots in your deck.
or you shouldnt play any, it might reduce the cost of your deck. plus it would be fun to have some 1 try to crainial extract you for battle of wits and then u bust out laughing "haha there arent any in there"
and my fav was
Forbidden Orchard - This land taps for five colors of mana. Plus since I
have nearly 50 removal spells in this deck, the drawback is negligible.
by
Vlada on 2006-08-29 21:35 EST WOW,the best article i ever read,where did you get idea...
I know that part with suncrusher is very,very good,but my favorit is azorius first-wing and his protection from oponents moldervine cloack...
But i cant belive that,there is someone that thought this was serious article...
Noobz
by
Samyueru on 2007-01-07 08:51 EST This was a genius article.
>>...
<<...
The deck would have been savage if not for the MWS shuffler. Seriously. Don't look at me like that! It's true! Hey, come back! I'm a good player! Really!
...
No one likes me...
Great article!
by
sc4rs on 2007-02-09 03:49 EST Frostling - This card is excellent in this deck. He swings for one then can sacrifice himself to trade with two power creatures such as Pious Kitsune.
Pious Kitsune is huge in my format. Before you came along and told me what to play, I lost to it every week at FNM. Thank you for the uber sweet tech and decklist. Now I can pwn all the idiots in my store who are stupid and play 60 card decks. What losers! Of course, I have to proxy 289 cards out of the 300, only having four basic Forests, two islands, a Ravenous Rats, and four Grozoths that I found on the ground at my store. But that's okay because nobody will notice the proxies because I have a lazer printer and I glued them onto the useless old cards my older brother gave me like Black Lotus and Time Walk. Thanks SarcasticRat!!1!!1
by
sc4rs on 2007-02-09 03:49 EST btw - LMAO!
by
Equinox- on 2007-05-30 23:27 EST :S
by
Kuberr on 2007-05-31 15:01 EST If we banned all the people who said "lol" or "haha" on this article, maybe rat's other articles would never be made.
It's a sad thing to think about what this world COULD have been.
